Pleading for another...I can't be alone...it cannot be...

I look at what is out there and speak with others about The Great work.
One item I have noticed is the terminology, the same word has many meanings.
The same phrase has many meanings, It is not possible for the beginner to see any difference.
Everyone speaks of The Philosophers Stone, and each with their own meaning. I know 1st hand that the real Stone is only a small part of 1st Matter. So much plain speak in this post, but it matters not, I am sure there is no other, I have crossed the line so much, and yet those I have told still do  not understand the simple, even when I have told them in plain?
I have what I sought and only wanted another human who knew to chat with in Argo and see if we both knew, for they would know what to say, as would I.
I watch newbies talk about Labs and spending fortunes on equipment to create so much ....uggghhh...
If you simply think of the old masters, they had so little to work with, yet they achieved so much.
Today they have so much, and achieve so little.
I feel a loneliness that is odd and grows and as I consume the red 1st Matter my mind sees so much and understands so much more than human contact is boring at best.
TV and such is an absolute bore, I have not been able to sit through a movie in years, so thin and easy to see through. That type of loneliness is the hardest to deal with, I can be in a room full of humans and still be alone, hence why I sought another.
I believe those who spend all that money while attempting to find our majic, are at least more content. The only time I am content is in meditation, and even then I do with with open eyes, looking for distractions, but those distractions are so short and meaningless.
I understand why they formed their own societies, they had to , so they could not be alone. The alone is hard to take, and getting harder everyday.
It truly seems that in todays world no one can understand, the trees are in the way. Sadness
My first Rant of sorts now that I have been having a full cup of the red daily for 5 months.
It changes you, truly it does. Is it a curse or a blessing, a bit of both so far...
The hardest is burying family,  as they know, they have seen it in the mirror,  but their minds cannot accept what their own eyes see, and in this way they choose death. WOW...
Thats all for this one.
Old Man give me another, PLEASE.
A Man